It’s Fall Y’all!
The season of pumpkin spice and everything nice is upon us! Everywhere you look fall clothing and Halloween décor has overtaken the shopping aisles. Starbucks pumpkin spice latte (PSL) was available on August 24, even though the official start of Autumn is not until September 23rd this year.
This year my family has found ourselves in such a tremendous season of change. It feels as if we may never return to any type of normalcy again.
Over the past four months our home was being repaired and renovated while I am pregnant with our third child. The last 40 days we spent in a single hotel room because the project ran long. We finally moved home about two weeks ago, celebrated my daughter’s 5th birthday, our son’s 2nd birthday, and our baby is expected to arrive in a few weeks on my 40th birthday!
We haven’t set up one thing for the baby yet.
As a mom of “advanced maternal age” enduring a third high-risk pregnancy with multiple complications - most days I find myself utterly exhausted by mid-afternoon. I feel my patience beginning to slip away, some days it’s gone by 9am.
Mom-Guilt
I can easily fall into the trap of demanding too much from my husband, my 5-year-old and even on occasion my 2-year-old. I am not immune from my own internal demands and expectations of myself either.
On top of having dished out expectations and demands for myself and my children, quite possibly losing my patience and snapping at everyone along the way, I am immediately overcome with regret, sadness and laundry-loads of mom-guilt.
I am hit with the reminder that I am NOT the only one going through this tumultuous season of change.
My children are looking to me to model how to handle all of this change.
But who am I looking to?
If I am looking to myself as a perfect model, I can almost guarantee failure, explosive moments followed by mom-guilt and sadness. No one wants to be on that rollercoaster! The pregnancy rollercoaster is enough right now, thank you!
But who can I look to?
You're Season is Not an Accident
As I was reading my Bible a few weeks ago, I found myself staring at the verses of Ecclesiastes 3,
“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven” (v. 1).
Perhaps you have heard these verses read at a wedding or a funeral, it is quite popular – you may have even seen it on a t-shirt. Instead of just allowing the cliché to roll over me, I found myself looking up the meaning of the word “season" in the original Hebrew language which means an “appointed time or occasion.”
Seasons are always on-going; there’s four weather seasons a year! We can look in hindsight more clearly at the seasons we’ve gone through in our lives as well.
But an “appointed time” seems so much more directed and purposeful.
Momma, if you are going through a season of change (it may not look anything like mine – school starting back is PLENTY OF CHANGE in your life right now), you must ask yourself- who or what are you looking to in those moments of stress? Yourself? A seemingly “perfect mom” on Instagram? Grabbing an extra PSL to fight the afternoon (or morning) exhaustion?
Or is it your relationship with Jesus?
I found myself prayerfully embracing the current season of change because it is meant to be a season of change in my life. This time of my life was an “appointed time” selected, chosen and arranged for me & my family by the Lord.
And while my circumstances may be changing, the One who made me, God, never changes!
I can look to Him! He will help me navigate all of this.
Rhythm of Grace
By embracing that this season of change is no mistake, it has allowed me to develop a “Rhythm of Grace.”
Rhythms of Grace is an ease and enjoyment I can tap into in my life with Jesus that comes from having a natural, unforced rhythm of grace.
When I rely on Him, and not on myself (or incomparison, or my third pumpkin spice latte of the day), I find myself having more patience for myself and for my family.
I don’t have perfect execution, I may still explode from time-to-time, but it is fewer and farther in-between.
And even when I do struggle, I am reminded to have grace or kindness towards myself as well.
It’s being able to hear “you’re doing great, Momma!” when you have a poo-splosion, you’re running late, and the older child is tugging at you in tears.
Momma- this season of change is no mistake – and Jesus is saying "You ARE doing great Momma!"